Learning the same thing over again...and again...

If you know me then you know I have a tendency to overanalyze things. It's a part of me that makes me good at my job, but challenges me in my personal life. I want to know things. I want proof, or at least support, of nearly everything. I have a healthy sense of doubt when I hear or read supposed 'facts'. I immediately want to see all the research that backs up the 'fact' before I will agree that is, in fact, fact.

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately for me) life isn't all about facts. There are millions of things in this world that can't be explained by research. Things like feelings and spirituality. I know some of these things can have a tangible, factual basis, but for the most part these things are abstract. Things like trust, attraction, hopes, fears, feelings of closeness...I could go on and on.

So when my overanalyzing self starts evaluating abstract things I can get worked into quite an anxious state. Yesterday was one of those many times. I went to sleep feeling rather unresolved. This morning I woke up with determination to deal with my anxious, overanalyzing self.

When I get this worked up I often have to go back to the things that I Know, both factual and existential. Here's what I came up with...

I Know that I overanalyze everything and I Know that I was born and bred to be a worrier. So I started pondering worry and anxiousness and was instinctively led to several passages in the Bible about how God will take care of me. I Know that God has led me to where I am. I Know that without a doubt. And if God has led me to where I am, then I Know that God will give me the tools/strength/wisdom/patience to deal with whatever comes along with that.

It seems so simple. It's something I've Known before in my life, many times and many years ago. It's funny how we 'forget' the things we Know. Sometimes I feel like God might as well hit me over the head with a 2x4 because I have to keep learning the same things over and over again, but I'm glad He doesn't. I'm glad He leads me back to a place of Knowing. And I will do whatever I can to keep Knowing this for the rest of my life.