Baby Names...

Do you ever get upset when someone steals the baby name you've been saving for your own future child? Not that I'm expecting, or married, or even dating. I don't even know that I'll ever have children. I certainly wouldn't consider myself to be a girl who obsesses over her future potential children, but I do have a couple of names saved up, and NO I'm not sharing them! One has already been stolen...I can't risk it!

A New Year...

So my New Year began with the intention of writing. After all, I told you I would. Unfortunately I've been very stuck -- having a lot to say but not really wanting to say any of it. At least not for anyone else to read.

As I told you in my previous post, my processing can be very messy and downright frightening sometimes. I usually find my way through it, but it can be ugly along the way. So you have been fairly warned.

The New Year has been hard for me. I'm glad for a new year...God knows I need one. But honestly it's brought more sadness than hope. The reality of the last 12 months are hitting me hard. I'm trying not to fall apart but it's a very real challenge for me right now. A wise friend said that maybe I should take a couple days to fall apart, take a deep breath, and try again. I've done similar things before, but for some reason in the thick of it all I can remember a darn thing! Thank goodness for friends...

I know that I can't possibly move on from this place unless I deal with my feelings about it. I have to feel my feelings, accept them, and then take a step forward. I don't really want to, and it's not going to be pretty, but they will only come back to haunt me if I don't deal with them.

So, for a limited time, I'm going to let myself 'fall apart'. I'm not going to try to keep it all together. I'm just going to deal with my feelings and move on.

And I encourage you all to do the same. Not to fall apart, of course, but to feel your feelings, accept them, and move on.

Again...you've been fairly warned :)